Every business leader faces moments when conflict feels unbearable. Like a family on the brink of breakdown, your organization shows warning signs: tension in meetings, passive-aggressive emails, problems swept under rugs. You tell yourself it will resolve itself. But avoidance isn't neutrality—it's a choice with consequences.
Just as families fracture when difficult conversations are avoided, businesses develop their own civil wars. Departments stop collaborating. Key employees quietly disengage. Innovation stalls because no one feels safe challenging the status quo.
The cost isn't just measured in productivity—it's measured in trust, morale, and ultimately, your bottom line.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy reveals why smart leaders avoid conflict: protective parts of your psyche believe they're keeping you safe. That voice saying "not now" or "it's not that bad" thinks it's helping. But these protective mechanisms, when overused, exile the very wisdom you need to lead effectively.
In IFS, every part has a positive intent. Even behaviors we label as "negative" are often protecting something vulnerable. Inner conflict is not dysfunction — it's communication. But alongside these parts, Schwartz noticed something else: when parts softened or stepped back, a consistent state of being appeared. He called it Self.
Time spent managing dysfunction instead of building value
Increase in departures when workplace conflict goes unaddressed
Average decline in performance during prolonged organizational tension
These numbers represent real businesses where leaders hoped problems would self-resolve. They didn't. The data shows what courage reveals: facing difficulty early costs less than managing crisis later.
"I'm done with my graceless heart, so tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart."
— Andra Day, "Rise Up"
Where "Civil War" captures division, "Rise Up" embodies what happens when you choose courage over comfort. This isn't about perfection—it's about standing in your authority, acknowledging what's broken, and doing the hard work of repair.
In the complex landscape of organizational dynamics, Enneagram Type 6s and Type 9s often represent deeply ingrained, yet opposing, worldviews. The 6, driven by a need for security and preparedness, sees potential pitfalls and demands clarity, feeling entirely justified in their cautious approach. Conversely, the 9, valuing harmony and peace, seeks common ground and avoids confrontation, convinced their path promotes unity. Each feels completely right from their vantage point, yet both are inherently limited.
These disparate perspectives, while valid in isolation, offer an incomplete picture of reality. What's needed is a capacity to hold all angles simultaneously, to understand the underlying motivations and fears driving each side. This is where the wisdom of the Enneagram Type 8 emerges, capable of embracing paradox and seeing the entirety of the situation.
When the 8 is turned on its side, it becomes the infinity symbol—a powerful representation of integration, wholeness, and the ability to navigate complexity with an expansive view. This unique capacity allows the 8 to mediate between conflicting viewpoints, not by choosing a side, but by understanding and synthesizing all angles. This approach fosters a truly integrated environment where diverse perspectives contribute to a more robust solution.
This is precisely why the 8 is uniquely positioned to mediate and lead through conflict. Their inherent courage, directness, and ability to see the bigger picture provide the framework for challenging conversations to become catalysts for growth, rather than sources of division. Embracing this "Eight Perspective" is about moving beyond limited viewpoints to achieve true organizational integration and resilience.
I provide expert mediation services, creating safe environments for difficult conversations and ensuring all voices are heard without escalation.
Through tailored executive coaching, I help leaders like you develop capacity for courageous leadership, leveraging insights from organizational psychology.
I design and facilitate structured off-sites to address underlying tensions, foster collaboration, and build new patterns of interaction within your team.
The weight of unresolved conflict is heavier than the discomfort of addressing it. You don't need to have all the answers—you just need to stop pretending the questions don't exist. I'm trained to help you navigate this. I use frameworks that work. The civil war in your organization can end, but only if you're willing to lead the peace process.
What conversation have you been avoiding? What would change if you had it this week? Let's talk about your specific situation.
WYTABA: The Discipline of Purposeful Attention